As you may know, I’ve been on a “so called” vacation to Yellowstone National Park. So called - because even though I did get to fulfill my need for mac cheese along the road I was banned (by Earnest) from entering the Coach Outlet in Fort Collins, Colorado. It’s right next door to Cracker Barrel where the mac cheese is warm, creamy, and delicious. But we were on a schedule and I was not given permission to go Coach shopping. We are now on the return trip, we are going to stop at the same Cracker Barrel and I’m still barred from the Outlet Stores.
Earnestine’s top 10 reasons why this wasn’t a real vacation:
10. My hiking boots chipped my pedicure and wrecked the cute little flowers I had on my big toenails.
9. Two words - fanny pack.
8. No spa, no beach, no margaritas.
7. Zip off hiking pants may be functional but they are NOT flattering.
6. Did I really need to make visual confirmation that bears do indeed poop in the woods? Being near the top of the food chain is no excuse for poor manners.
5. Getting charged by a thundering herd of bison (okay a tiny exaggeration) with one booty cheek hanging out (not an exaggeration) is scary. Said zip off pants ripped while dodging a coyote earlier in the day. A one inch rip turned into a 12 inch gaping hole. Poor craftsmanship no doubt. (I wonder if Coach makes zip off hiking pants?) I will be asking for my money back! Thankfully I was wearing adorable pink nickers.
4. Doing laundry to get the stench out of your socks shouldn’t be a part of any vacation!
3. Eating lunch out of a buttateria (remember the fanny pack?)
2. Besides being nearly molested by all those animals (and the signs told us not to molest the animals - where were their signs?) our biggest fun was playing the license plate game (btw, there is still a bounty on Hawaii.)
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Earnestine’s number 1 reason why this wasn’t a real vacation
1. No Eiffel tower and no French wine (tant pis pour moi! - now that’s a French whine!)
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Earnestine’s number 1 reason why she’d do all over again in a second?
10 priceless days with Little Lady, Motor Mouth, Crazy Teen,
Pharm Boy, Big Momma, and IPop!
Pharm Boy, Big Momma, and IPop!
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3 comments:
Sounds like a typical wonderful trip to Yellowstone! Love Goofy
We would do it all over again too. In fact, other then the drive, I wish I could be back there now. Thanks again for your wonderful tour guide skills, Yellowstone facts, downloading my pics, etc. We loved every minute of it (except maybe for the horse fly bites).
Love, Big Momma, Pharm Boy, Little Lady, Motor Mouth and Crazy Teen
Earnie and I are missing you guys BAD!
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