Free Stuff and the Bag Lady (Part 2)

...Continued from yesterday.

All of sudden I hear a very sweet voice say “‘ma’am” - thankfully it’s not the carry on cops - it’s another bag lady. She happens to have a spare purple bag (it’s one of those nice shopping bags made out of paper pretending to be cotton.) She had been at a teaching conference and she has two of them inside each other to carry her laptop and all the books she bought at the symposium.

Now she’s come to my rescue and she offered me one of the bags to keep forever! Purple is my favorite color. Now I’ve got four bags to carry on, but the lovely part is that I can put two bags inside the third bag and technically only be carrying one bag. So I stuff the Coach and the Life is Good bag inside the purple paper pretending to be cotton bag and plop my fake-fake laptop bag over my shoulder and I’m good to go. Never mind that my four bags that are technically only two bags take up more room than my three bags originally did. I am finally following the rules and I’ll be able to board the plan without getting arrested! I’ll also have a new purple bag to cherish and remember that some nice sister bag lady sensed my frustration and took care of me without me needing to ask for help. I know in this day and age we’re supposed to take care of ourselves and ask for what we need, etc. But sometimes it’s just plain nice for someone to volunteer a random act of kindness.

So thank you teacher bag lady for the big purple dead tree bag and thank you Starbuck’s Coach bag lady for the tip on how to acquire a fake Coach or two on the streets of the big Apple! Earnest I head back to big D on Sunday and guess what’s on the way home - I poop you not - the only Coach Outlet Store in the State of Texas.

Free Stuff and the Bag Lady (Part 1)

I’m happy to say I’m still enjoying my “free stuff” karma. Today I was on my way out of town for some much needed R & R and a doctor’s appointment with Earnest’s torturer for my “fat little ankles” (don’t ask). Ron was driving down to meet me later in the day.

I was in line at the airport dutifully waiting to feed my Starbuck’s addiction, when a very nice woman commented on my amazingly cool laptop bag. It’s lime green fake silk with an oriental pattern. The inside is hot pink fake silk. The bag is really stunning and gets a lot of compliments. I think it’s a knock off some snazzy brand you can get at Neimans. I, however, landed it for 39.99 at TJ Maxx. I was in there looking for a good deal on a Coach Tote bag. It is rumored that occasionally you will find one in a clearance bin at TJ’s.

Anyway - no Coach that day - only the stunning fake silk - knock off of something laptop bag. I snagged it. My fellow bag lady, in the Starbuck’s line, noticed not only my “fake-fake”, but she noticed the real Coach purse I was carrying. She tells me that she was in NYC four years ago and landed a knock-off Coach on the street for about 40 bucks. Evidently you have to know to whisper “Coach” to the right guy on the street with a big cardboard box and then step into a dark corner to make the transaction. I think it’s a marketing ploy designed to make you think you are getting “real” fenced goods instead of real fake fenced goods. No matter, I felt like today was my lucky day, I am headed to NYC in October to celebrate my birthday with Ron and my zany new friend Dixie. I’ll be asking for Coach gift cards to use with the street vendors in NYC.

So a vente white chocolate mocha latte and a slab of marble pound cake later, I headed toward the gate to hop on my flight to torture city. I had no luggage, but dear lord in Heaven I managed to be carrying an outlawed number of very small carry on bags. (Hi - my name is Earnestine May and I’m a bagaholic.)

Remember, I’ve got my very cool - very real yellow Coach purse, my even cooler fake-fake laptop bag, and my very small “Life is Good Tote”. Add ‘em up and I’ve got a total of THREE bags and I’m getting ready to board an American Airlines plane. American isn’t very popular right now. They’ve started charging folks $15 a pop to check a bag. So people are taking out their frustration by stuffing their carry on bags. American is fighting back by being really strict about the FAA rule of no more than TWO carry on items. I’ve got three and I’m starting to sweat. (continued tomorrow....)