Wednesday, July 23, 2008

A Message to the Good People at Kraft (from the road)

The other day I was talking to one of my dear readers about the advent of the Kraft Mac Cheese (KMC) crackers. I think I would make a very good spokesmodel for their product. I’m witty, charming and I have the right size booty. You certainly don’t want some skinny bootied runway model for this campaign. You can’t have your spokesmodel throwing up when she sees the box. My friend gently pointed out that I was a fraud and would never land the job because I was willing to eat generic mac cheese.

She’s right. To this point, I have been a mac cheese ho. I’m admitting to having a problem and now I'm making a decision to turn my life and will over the care of the good people at Kraft. I want to make amends for my wrong doing. This is my public apology. I’m sorry I ever let an inferior boxed cheesy noodle cross my lips and land on my hips! I promise to never let this happen again. I am now faithfully and forever yours!

Imagine how nice a bright blue ball cap with a golden yellow mac cheese noodle logo would look on me. No doubt you've heard of the Nike Swoosh. We could could call this logo The Kraft Noodle. I’d love to help them introduce a Kraft Noodle line of apparel, products, and promotions. I have a few ideas:

  • Bright blue ball caps with a golden yellow mac cheese colored elbow noodle in the center.
  • Bright Blue T-shirts with the noodle logo on the upper left hand front corner. The back of the T-Shirt could say “I’m The Cheesiest.”
  • There could be an “I heart Kraft Mac Cheese" campaign. There would be a special edition box of mac cheese with heart shaped noodles introduced at Valentine’s Day (of course.)
  • How about a "30 days to a cheesier life series?" We could create 30 recipes using KMC or KMC Crackers - one for each day of the month. (We could tell a heart warming story each day about how KMC was there for us in our time of need.)
  • The "30 days to a cheesier life" series could start as a contest (the prize - a year’s supply of KMC) for the best recipe using KMC and the best heart warming KMC story.
  • How about a NASCAR car painted blue with the KMC noodles all over it. I don’t know much about race car drivers. Is there one named Mac?

Dear Readers,

I’m hoping you’ll comment on this blog and help me come up with some more product and campaign ideas for my friends at Kraft. Remember, I have young readers so no funny business (email those ideas to me privately :) For those of you who are writing books or starting your own business this is called “the marketing plan” section of the proposal. Consider it practice....

With warm cheesy thoughts,

Earnestine May

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

You won't want to miss out on the Kraft Mac & Cheese-a-paloozza!!

http://www.kraftbrands.com/crex/

May D. Cember said...

You are my hero. Are you a Mac Cheese lover too?

Anonymous said...

Of course, I just talk about it less ;-) ever try half & half instead of milk? creamy, yummy - and about the best comfort food, short of ice cream.

May D. Cember said...

I've absolutely gone the half & half route. My second favorite comfort food is/are mashed potatoes. Half and half makes them fab too - even instant ones! If it's been a really bad day - who needs therapy? You can just fire up a serving of mac cheese and one of mashed spuds. That combo will solve any problem and works better than prozac to get the serotonin reuptake inhibitors blocked!